親子鬥(6)情緒

心理學家說
孩子是吸收父母的情緒長大的
我有證據

我跟孩子們的對話
除了有年齡差異
還有文化差異和語言差異
那麼就像我二兒一直所奇怪的
孩子是怎麼從無到有學會語言的呢

女兒在奶奶出發的前一個晚上
都已經脫掉衣服準備睡覺了
我看她又在穿上衣服
我問她要去幹嘛
她說去給奶奶寫一些英文牌子
讓他們在機場時可以用
我問是奶奶讓你寫的嗎
她說不是她自己想到的

爺奶平安回國
奶奶說那些牌子裡的一個
真的派上了用場
她用了好幾次
奶奶和伯伯都說妹妹很貼心

而這邊妹妹把她的好幾雙鞋
擺得到處都是得催她好幾次才會收
我對孩她爸說
這叫做有一得必有一失
很貼心的妹妹
就得降低對她實現整齊管理速度的預期

女兒說媽媽我不知道你在說什麼
但是我覺得很wise

接著在另一個場景下
她在給她的復活節帽子做裝飾
她說要再買一些復活節蛋黏在上面
我說自己做就好了她說得買如何如何
我說好吧你真是個事兒媽
她問那是什麼意思我說不告訴你

我問你還覺得我這個話wise嗎
她說不你很meanie

小學校長事真忙(記錄)

Parents/caregivers on the School Grounds during the school day:  Keeping our students safe is our top priority. As such, we have processes that monitor who enters, and leaves the school site. We appreciate that parents/caregivers may at times have to collect or return students during the school day. It is really important that this is done through the front office so we have a record of who has been on the site, visitors are identifiable through a Visitors sticker or leave/late pass for their child, and we know which students have been signed in and out.  Thank you for supporting our processes.

Student playground behaviour after school: We are so pleased to see so many families staying after school to play and socialise. Unfortunately, we have been informed of unkind behaviour being displayed by some children predominantly from the junior area, after school. The flying fox is one of the main areas where rough play, not sharing and inappropriate language has been noted by parents. We are keen to address this promptly. Teachers will review playground rules with students highlighting the expectation that the same rules are adhered to at school, and after school when they are in the care of their parents.  Thank you for your support in fully supervising students playing after school and addressing inappropriate behaviour.

Trading Cards: The trading of cards at school is creeping into some of the upper years during breaks. We ask for parent and caregiver support in ensuring trading cards are kept at home. In the past we have found this activity to be a distraction, with ‘valuable’ cards going missing at school and time and energy lost in investigations. 

We offer teaching salaries among the highest in Australia.
If you are a qualified teacher, your starting salary is at Level 2.1.
Teachers performing satisfactory teaching service receive an annual increment each year until they reach Level 2.9. 
Your work experiences and previous qualifications may be taken into account when determining your starting salary.
Teachers working in rural, regional and remote locations may receive additional benefits, including the 2023 and 2024 Attraction and Retention Initiative payment of up to $17,000. Use the benefits calculator to view the incentives and allowances that apply to each of our schools.

https://www.education.wa.edu.au/teacher-salaries

親子鬥(5)愛與懲罰

爺爺奶奶去機場
我和奶奶擁抱時
我們都哭了
我說我們明年再見
大兒也紅了眼圈
大兒跟車去機場
奶奶說不用去了
我說要去他做代表
二兒本來也說去
但早上又改了主意
這是我的家風
要愛應該愛的人
要愛值得愛的人

二兒本來已經醒了
但他說不想去機場
我說可以但是在哥哥回來之前
你不可以使用電子設備
結果我看到一個影子
他說他去廁所
後來我意識到了什麼
就去兩個廁所找他
我看到廁所沒人
他躺在床上
我說把手機給我
他說我是去了廁所
然後就把手機掏出來給我
我說過什麼來著
鬥智鬥勇
養孩子還得鬥智鬥勇
所以我只鬥必須得鬥的
然後確保贏
否則根本就鬥不過來
還得威信掃地

真是防不勝防啊
他去找了妹妹的掌上遊戲機
跟妹妹一起玩兒
他遊戲沒玩兒好
因為妹妹的掌上遊戲機有個鍵壞了
他就指責妹妹弄壞了按鍵
妹妹理論不過她但是會生氣
他又會嘲笑妹妹生氣
我說她生氣是因為說不過你
但是我說得過你
這個傢伙是
得理不饒人
無理攪三分
這種人跟他講道理沒用
就是兩種手段
愛與懲罰

這倆孩子誰也不讓誰把我給氣得夠嗆
其實他們就是這麼玩兒但是我會難受

親子鬥(4)相互不妒忌

大兒買了兩片2.5公斤的鐵
結果發現還有點兒過重
應該買2公斤的他說
但是也能克服就是會麻煩些
他現在臥舉4.6公斤
買鐵時那好像是個教練
他車庫裡有各種規格的鐵
大兒拿了一片他幫忙拿了一片
往我們車那邊走他說年輕人
你舉這個重量會變得更有力量

他選了一款無線耳機
用他自己的每月勞務費買
我二話沒說就答應了
而且沒有等他爸發表意見
直接就買了因為他們之前
用這個錢買遊戲我都沒管
儘管做這個事
我需要挑戰內心權威
他拿到之後可開心了
說第一次有了fancy設備
他一直都是用最基本的設備
我說算生日禮物啊
雖然是你自己的錢買的
他說那也算
因為他明白他現在不賺錢
任何收入都是爸媽給的

我讓孩子們在一個限度之內
充分使用他們用錢的權利
我知道很多父母的做法是
給孩子的賬戶上放很多錢
但是孩子花錢時嚴格管制
我認為這會費錢還不討好

大兒為他的新設備開心
二兒為能玩兒遊戲吃漢堡開心
女兒有新機器做smoothie而開心
三個娃各有各的開心並無相互妒忌

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (The Chronicles of Narnia #1) – Page 5/17

CHAPTER FIVE

BACK ON THIS SIDE OF THE DOOR

BECAUSE the game of hide-and-seek was still going on, it took Edmund and Lucy some time to find the others. But when at last they were all together (which happened in the long room, where the suit of armour was) Lucy burst out:

“Peter! Susan! It’s all true. Edmund has seen it too. There is a country you can get to through the wardrobe. Edmund and I both got in. We met one another in there, in the wood. Go on, Edmund; tell them all about it.”

“What’s all this about, Ed?” said Peter.

And now we come to one of the nastiest things in this story. Up to that moment Edmund had been feeling sick, and sulky, and annoyed with Lucy for being right, but he hadn’t made up his mind what to do. When Peter suddenly asked him the question he decided all at once to do the meanest and most spiteful thing he could think of. He decided to let Lucy down.

“Tell us, Ed,” said Susan.

And Edmund gave a very superior look as if he were far older than Lucy (there was really only a year’s difference) and then a little snigger and said, “Oh, yes, Lucy and I have been playing – pretending that all her story about a country in the wardrobe is true. just for fun, of course. There’s nothing there really.”

Poor Lucy gave Edmund one look and rushed out of the room.

Edmund, who was becoming a nastier person every minute, thought that he had scored a great success, and went on at once to say, “There she goes again. What’s the matter with her? That’s the worst of young kids, they always – “

“Look here,” said Peter, turning on him savagely, “shut up! You’ve been perfectly beastly to Lu ever since she started this nonsense about the wardrobe, and now you go playing games with her about it and setting her off again. I believe you did it simply out of spite.”

“But it’s all nonsense,” said Edmund, very taken aback.

“Of course it’s all nonsense,” said Peter, “that’s just the point. Lu was perfectly all right when we left home, but since we’ve been down here she seems to be either going queer in the head or else turning into a most frightful liar. But whichever it is, what good do you think you’ll do by jeering and nagging at her one day and encouraging her the next?”

“I thought – I thought,” said Edmund; but he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You didn’t think anything at all,” said Peter; “it’s just spite. You’ve always liked being beastly to anyone smaller than yourself; we’ve seen that at school before now.”

“Do stop it,” said Susan; “it won’t make things any better having a row between you two. Let’s go and find Lucy.”

It was not surprising that when they found Lucy, a good deal later, everyone could see that she had been crying. Nothing they could say to her made any difference. She stuck to her story and said:

“I don’t care what you think, and I don’t care what you say. You can tell the Professor or you can write to Mother or you can do anything you like. I know I’ve met a Faun in there and – I wish I’d stayed there and you are all beasts, beasts.”

It was an unpleasant evening. Lucy was miserable and Edmund was beginning to feel that his plan wasn’t working as well as he had expected. The two older ones were really beginning to think that Lucy was out of her mind. They stood in the passage talking about it in whispers long after she had gone to bed.

The result was the next morning they decided that they really would go and tell the whole thing to the Professor. “He’ll write to Father if he thinks there is really something wrong with Lu,” said Peter; “it’s getting beyond us.” So they went and knocked at the study door, and the Professor said “Come in,” and got up and found chairs for them and said he was quite at their disposal. Then he sat listening to them with the tips of his fingers pressed together and never interrupting, till they had finished the whole story. After that he said nothing for quite a long time. Then he cleared his throat and said the last thing either of them expected:

“How do you know,” he asked, “that your sister’s story is not true?”

“Oh, but – ” began Susan, and then stopped. Anyone could see from the old man’s face that he was perfectly serious. Then Susan pulled herself together and said, “But Edmund said they had only been pretending.”

“That is a point,” said the Professor, “which certainly deserves consideration; very careful consideration. For instance – if you will excuse me for asking the question – does your experience lead you to regard your brother or your sister as the more reliable? I mean, which is the more truthful?”

“That’s just the funny thing about it, sir,” said Peter. “Up till now, I’d have said Lucy every time.”

“And what do you think, my dear?” said the Professor, turning to Susan.

“Well,” said Susan, “in general, I’d say the same as Peter, but this couldn’t be true – all this about the wood and the Faun.”

“That is more than I know,” said the Professor, “and a charge of lying against someone whom you have always found truthful is a very serious thing; a very serious thing indeed.”

“We were afraid it mightn’t even be lying,” said Susan; “we thought there might be something wrong with Lucy.”

“Madness, you mean?” said the Professor quite coolly. “Oh, you can make your minds easy about that. One has only to look at her and talk to her to see that she is not mad.”

“But then,” said Susan, and stopped. She had never dreamed that a grown-up would talk like the Professor and didn’t know what to think.

“Logic!” said the Professor half to himself. “Why don’t they teach logic at these schools? There are only three possibilities. Either your sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn’t tell lies and it is obvious that she is not mad For the moment then and unless any further evidence turns up, we must assume that she is telling the truth.”

Susan looked at him very hard and was quite sure from the expression on his face that he was no making fun of them.

“But how could it be true, sir?” said Peter.

“Why do you say that?” asked the Professor.

“Well, for one thing,” said Peter, “if it was true why doesn’t everyone find this country every time they go to the wardrobe? I mean, there was nothing there when we looked; even Lucy didn’t pretend the was.”

“What has that to do with it?” said the Professor.

“Well, sir, if things are real, they’re there all the time.”

“Are they?” said the Professor; and Peter did’nt know quite what to say.

“But there was no time,” said Susan. “Lucy had no time to have gone anywhere, even if there was such a place. She came running after us the very moment we were out of the room. It was less than minute, and she pretended to have been away for hours.”

“That is the very thing that makes her story so likely to be true,” said the Professor. “If there really a door in this house that leads to some other world (and I should warn you that this is a very strange house, and even I know very little about it) – if, I say, she had got into another world, I should not be at a surprised to find that the other world had a separate time of its own; so that however long you stay there it would never take up any of our time. On the other hand, I don’t think many girls of her age would invent that idea for themselves. If she had been pretending, she would have hidden for a reasonable time before coming out and telling her story.”

“But do you really mean, sir,” said Peter, “that there could be other worlds – all over the place, just round the corner – like that?”

“Nothing is more probable,” said the Professor, taking off his spectacles and beginning to polish them, while he muttered to himself, “I wonder what they do teach them at these schools.”

“But what are we to do?” said Susan. She felt that the conversation was beginning to get off the point.

“My dear young lady,” said the Professor, suddenly looking up with a very sharp expression at both of them, “there is one plan which no one has yet suggested and which is well worth trying.”

“What’s that?” said Susan.

“We might all try minding our own business,” said he. And that was the end of that conversation.

After this things were a good deal better for Lucy. Peter saw to it that Edmund stopped jeering at her, and neither she nor anyone else felt inclined to talk about the wardrobe at all. It had become a rather alarming subject. And so for a time it looked as if all the adventures were coming to an end; but that was not to be.

This house of the Professor’s – which even he knew so little about – was so old and famous that people from all over England used to come and ask permission to see over it. It was the sort of house that is mentioned in guide books and even in histories; and well it might be, for all manner of stories were told about it, some of them even stranger than the one I am telling you now. And when parties of sightseers arrived and asked to see the house, the Professor always gave them permission, and Mrs Macready, the housekeeper, showed them round, telling them about the pictures and the armour, and the rare books in the library. Mrs Macready was not fond of children, and did not like to be interrupted when she was telling visitors all the things she knew. She had said to Susan and Peter almost on the first morning (along with a good many other instructions), “And please remember you’re to keep out of the way whenever I’m taking a party over the house.”

“Just as if any of us would want to waste half the morning trailing round with a crowd of strange grown-ups!” said Edmund, and the other three thought the same. That was how the adventures began for the second time.

A few mornings later Peter and Edmund were looking at the suit of armour and wondering if they could take it to bits when the two girls rushed into the room and said, “Look out! Here comes the Macready and a whole gang with her.”

“Sharp’s the word,” said Peter, and all four made off through the door at the far end of the room. But when they had got out into the Green Room and beyond it, into the Library, they suddenly heard voices ahead of them, and realized that Mrs Macready must be bringing her party of sightseers up the back stairs – instead of up the front stairs as they had expected. And after that – whether it was that they lost their heads, or that Mrs Macready was trying to catch them, or that some magic in the house had come to life and was chasing them into Narnia they seemed to find themselves being followed everywhere, until at last Susan said, “Oh bother those trippers! Here – let’s get into the Wardrobe Room till they’ve passed. No one will follow us in there.” But the moment they were inside they heard the voices in the passage – and then someone fumbling at the door – and then they saw the handle turning.

“Quick!” said Peter, “there’s nowhere else,” and flung open the wardrobe. All four of them bundled inside it and sat there, panting, in the dark. Peter held the door closed but did not shut it; for, of course, he remembered, as every sensible person does, that you should never never shut yourself up in a wardrobe.

https://allnovel.net/the-lion-the-witch-and-the-wardrobe-the-chronicles-of-narnia-1/page-5.html

親子鬥(3)多子女地緣政治

大兒如今的自律程度
讓奶奶驚嘆不已
只是不知她是否理解
為何大兒是這樣
因為性格嗎?
因為教育嗎?
因為什麼呢?

我問女兒:你今天上學嗎?
她說:睡覺
我再問:你上學還是不上學?
她搖頭
我繼續問:上學還是不上學,你做決定,但你要說出來。
她說:不
我又問:說“不上學”,把話說全。
她:不上學
我:這就對了,你不就是不敢說出來嗎 (因為她爸在旁邊)?我就是要讓你大聲說出來。

我給兒子們準備完午餐,
忍住了,終於忍住了,
沒提醒二兒給學校用電腦充電
上樓,眼不見心不煩

女兒被我ban了一周的遊戲時間
遊戲與看油管短視頻是一個性質
可以看劇,可以看電子書
女兒被制裁,二兒也服氣
不然他心理就不會平衡
但是後來他聽說了我修改了禁令
因為那個禁令太過苛刻
他也說是太苛刻了

我對孩他爸說
這多子女與父母之間的關係
就如同地緣政治

我對女兒的確管得最少
因為管兩個兒子管累了
但是孩子不管就是不行
我說如果你被逮到
在偷偷違反禁令
你說如何處理

連續兩天被我逮到她偷偷在樓上看
我問你是不是覺得不聽我的話沒有後果
還是你就是想看?她說我就是想看
他們三個在這個年齡段都是如此
就是心裡想著特別想要無法等待難以自控
這是個成長中的必然階段

小學老師其實特別重要
如果孩子在小學得到有效對待
在中學時就會表現很棒
否則到中學就是大鬧天宮
女兒的指甲都好長了
我說了幾次讓她剪她就是不剪
我問了幾次為什麼
後來她說她就是沒有耐心去慢慢剪

在小學階段孩子們我行我素
卻又說不清楚自己為什麼要那麼做
我看到很多家長為了平衡財務與教育
讓孩子讀公立小學
然後讀私立中學
但是以我現在的認知
應該讓孩子讀私立小學
然後讀公立中學

小妞做啥我都覺得很藝術 🌸

女兒做我的同桌還是很美好的
看著她的小手在鍵盤上打著字
還挺快的呀~

人生即修煉

12歲的時候
我在好奇自己是誰
我為什麼會是這種性格
我猜我的性格是在我出生時
被什麼東西灌進來的於是我需要
用我的一生來探究自己到底是誰 🌸

我認為什麼是真實的信仰
就是你按照他所說的去做
你可以得到境界昇華
可以得到心性的提高
可以讓自己變得更好
那麼這個信仰對你來說
就是真實的
但可能他對別人並非如此
所以你永遠無法看到
所有人都去信同一個信仰

真的,幸福是什麼?
以前范偉說過,幸福就是:
冷天裡有大衣,尿急時有毛坑,
之類的。不能說是錯,
但是我認為的幸福是:
原以為過不去的難關,
結果過來了,憑著我的意志。
我感到很幸福 🌸

勇氣與真誠
就靠著這兩點
人生是包贏的