筝路历程(2)

陳琪著

放学后,我总是不敢走前门,生怕遇到她。多数从后门进入厨房,到佣人房。我是在厨房边与佣人同住。而我姐姐拥有三楼的三个房间,弟弟和母亲在二楼住,而我在楼下与佣人同住。从小我经常被弟弟打姐姐骂,经常被罚跪,一跪就跪很久,不敢起身,直到她们记得时,才叫你起身。因为跪久了站都站不起来。我弟弟叫我姐姐“大姐”但是他一辈子也未叫过我一声“二姐”。

家中任何人都可以打我骂我,连佣人高妈也可以随手给我一巴掌。家中的佣人们叫我姐姐“大小姐”、叫我弟弟“三少爷”,而每个佣人叫我就直呼小名“二毛”!除非佣人有求于我帮忙做个事、看个假时,才会叫一声“二小姐”。

因为怕妈妈、躲妈妈,我已经不习惯叫“姆妈”了,因为如果見到她已經怕得张开口叫不出声了。要是被母亲遇上了,她每次都骂:“你哑的,你认识我吗?看到你就来气,这个小老婆养的贱骨头。”她还经常说:“你不是我生的,是我从垃圾堆拾来的,我可生不出这么个二呆子。”当然二呆子也就是我理所当然的名字。

我总是在想:“谁是我母亲?为什么要我在垃圾堆边,不要我呢?”我绝不会 是小老婆生的,父亲很疼爱妈妈的,也从未变过心没有小老婆,而且以母亲的性格也絕不会容许父亲有小老婆,更不会留下小老婆留下的骨肉。我绝不会是小老婆生的。可能我是从垃圾堆拾回来的,为什么我在垃圾堆边?什么时候我才能见到我的亲母亲?每次我见到孩子在母亲面前撒娇而母亲对孩子的百般呵护、亲热的拥抱,我的心就会很疼,痛不可忍的疼!我从来也没有这种幸运,我多希望有妈妈抱抱我、亲亲我。

1970年一份香港無線電視雜誌的彩色整幅圖片引人注目,圖說為:陳琪在「歡樂今宵」演奏古箏」。

筝路历程(1)

陳琪著

我的儿女总是这样对我说:“你是令我们崇拜敬爱又值得骄傲的妈妈,我们不希望你給我们房屋和金钱,我们只希望你给我们一本书,一本你写的自传,你的经历。这是我们想要你的最重大的财富。”

我一直很懒,至今也没有达成他们的心愿。现在我觉得我时日无多,我已七十三岁了,离开中国五十多年(其间香港十二年、澳大利亚四十余年),中文已到提笔忘字的地步,很多字已写不出来,错别字众多!为了兑现对孩子的承诺,我提起精神写下我的前半生。至于我来到澳大利亚的后半生,留给我的孩子来写更好!

以下是我的前半生的经历:每个人、每件事、每句话都是千真万确,绝不夸大絕无虚假!!

1940年我出生在一个经济还不错的家庭,父亲是国民党的军官——纵队司令、少将。 在抗日战争、国共合作抗日期间与陈毅将军一起在苏北抗日,父亲被日本人包围打死,并被 割下人头挂在城门上示众!他为国牺牲是有名的“断头将军陈中柱”,他死后国民党嘉封一级成为中将。那时我才一岁,我弟弟是父亲身后三个月才出世的“遗腹子”,也是家中唯一的男孩子。我姐姐是家中的老大我们就三个姐弟。当我出生时母亲希望我是个男孩,结果非常失望。我祖母说:“哼!又是一个赔钱货。”但是我的父亲却很开心的说:“你看!多漂亮呀!是我的小公主,小仙女!”。所以我的名字叫陈琪,安琪儿(仙子)的琪,父亲很愛我,可 惜一年后他就去世了。

弟弟出生前祖母带上大伯母和她的儿子来,如果我母亲再生的是女孩,那么她必須把大伯母的儿子过继为儿子!幸好,老天爷保佑母亲这次生下的是男孩。第二天,大伯母只得失望的带着她的儿子离去。因此母亲对我的弟弟过分宠爱,父亲的去世我姐姐也成为家中的顶梁柱,来信件、人事的决定等等她是母亲不可缺少的左右手。她大我五岁,而我是中间多余的女儿,母亲的出气筒,发泄的对象。从我记事起,母亲对我没说过一句温暖的话、家长的话。总是没有一句好话:“我见到你就来气,小老婆养的贱骨头,小老婆痞子。“我怕她怕得要死,总是躲着她,不敢见到她。因为见到她不是被她打,就是被她骂,尤其是她喜欢用两根手指在我身上拧我,一拧我身上就留下一块青,两个星期也退不掉!这块还位退,那边又被她拧下另一块青。我身上的青紫块从来不断,很疼很 疼!(不知她这样做是否有快感?)

2014年陳琪在澳大利亞西澳珀斯家中。

Story of Chen Qi

By Susan Chen, ChatGTP & Ethan Lin contributed to the Chinese-English translation

In a radio and television magazine in 1970, there was a striking full-colored picture of an elegant and graceful young woman wearing a qipao, with her hair styled in a bun, playing the guzheng with concentration. The caption read, “Chen Qi performs the guzheng on ‘Joyful Tonight.'” 

“Joyful Tonight” was once the most popular and long-lasting variety show on Hong Kong television in the 1970s and 1980s. Many top actors from TVB participated in it. When Chen Qi appeared on the stage of “Joyful Tonight,” many viewers and even production staff were curious and asked, “Where did this unknown Chen Qi come from, and how can she play the guzheng and sing so beautifully?” 

She Was the Beloved Daughter of a General 

“I was born in 1940 into a fairly well-off family. My father was a Nationalist Army officer – a division commander and major general. During the Sino-Japanese War, he staunchly resisted the Japanese and was killed, with his head cut off and displayed on the city wall. He became China’s famous ‘Beheaded General Chen Zhongzhu.’ After his death, the Nationalists promoted him to lieutenant general. I was only one year old at the time.” (Chen Qi, in her autobiography “Journey of the Guzheng”) 

General Chen Zhongzhu, a native of Yancheng, Jiangsu, sacrificed himself against the Japanese in 1941 at the age of only 35, leaving behind two daughters and a posthumous son. Chen Qi was the second daughter. Although Chen Qi had no memory of her father, according to her older sister, she was the most precious daughter to General Chen. General Chen loved to hold baby Chen Qi in his arms, praising her for being beautiful and naming her “Qi” Anqi’er, meaning angel in Chinese. After coming home from work every day, General Chen’s first act was to visit Chen Qi in her room. 

A Challenging Fate, But Blessings from Above 

Her father’s love did not bring happiness to Chen Qi’s life. From the time Chen Qi could remember, she felt like an extra in the family, a punching bag for her family members, and the most useless individual. This upbringing molded her into a timid and fearful individual to the point where she was even afraid to speak and had developed unclear speech. Moreover, after the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) took power, Chen Qi’s family was targeted due to her mother’s background as the wife of a Nationalist Army officer. Her mother was imprisoned, and due to Chen Qi’s “bad class,” she faced discrimination at school and within society. With a strong-willed personality, Chen Qi put all her energy into studying, striving to be a good child in hopes of earning the approval of others. Despite growing up in adversity, her determined personality and innate musical talent led to her future success in the arts. 

Music had always been Chen Qi’s passion, and a music teacher recommended her to join the “High School Arts Troupe.” However, due to a mix-up, she was accepted into the singing section, which eventually revealed her talent in singing. Chen Qi learned a lot of musical knowledge which would be useful later in life. Since she frequently participated in the art troupe’s performances, she was fortunate to avoid the difficult times when students of her generation were forced into labor or sent to the countryside during the Cultural Revolution. 

During the Cultural Revolution, all traditions and cultures were trampled upon. Sun Zi Xian, a master of the guzheng and one of the disciples of Chen Qi’s master, was a school worker in charge of the grain station during those times. In his spare time, he taught eight of his favorite apprentices for free, and Chen Qi was fortunate to be one of them. Chen Qi had a special fondness for the deep and elegant sound of the guzheng, so she worked diligently at her guzheng playing. Chen Qi even exchanged her valuable gold necklace for her master’s guzheng and inscription. Later, when she moved to Hong Kong, her master’s guzheng was saved from the horrors of the Cultural Revolution and her learning continued in Hong Kong. When Sun learned about these events, he tearfully said to Chen Qi, “Thank you! Thank you!” 

Outstanding Academics and the Arts, but No Opportunities 

Despite excelling in academics and the arts, Chen Qi, who had graduated from high school, was unable to be accepted into an art school due to her “class background.” Finally, she had the opportunity to enroll in a medical school as a backup. Chen Qi had no interest in traditional Chinese medicine, but she saw it as a path to get into college and hoped to find a job after graduation. However, the Ivory Tower was no longer a haven. The political mess of the Communist society had tainted every corner of China. Despite her outstanding academic achievements, Chen Qi faced discrimination at school due to her “bad class” background. However, what caused Chen Qi to become truly despaired was an incident that happened shortly thereafter. 

One of Chen Qi’s former schoolmates came to the medical college to apply for a job, and the head of the personnel department asked to meet her in the dormitory. Chen Qi waited outside. A short while later, the schoolmate came out, her face flushed with anger and her hands trembling, she told Chen Qi, “That jerk wanted me to be his girlfriend in exchange for admitting me to the medical college.” At that time, the female student union leader seemed approachable, so Chen Qi told her about what had happened to her schoolmate. 

To her surprise, the next day, the party branch secretary came to find Chen Qi and scolded her harshly, accusing her of spreading rumors and undermining the credibility of the party and its leaders. After this incident, Chen Qi’s days at school became even more difficult. In despair, Chen Qi had to ask a doctor for a certificate of neurasthenia and took a leave of absence from the medical college. Without a college degree, Chen Qi couldn’t find a job and had to work as a substitute teacher. She felt insignificant and useless. 

From the time she was aware of her surroundings, Chen Qi had been subjected to political persecution by the Communist Party. This left an indelible scar on her life. More than a decade later, Chen Qi went from the pinnacle of the Hong Kong art scene to washing dishes in a restaurant in Perth, without ever complaining about her hardships. For her, even the hardest and most tiring work in the free world overseas could not compare to the life in mainland China where she couldn’t hold her head up politically, not knowing when she might fall victim to political movement. 

Serendipity Leads to the Hong Kong Entertainment Scene 

One’s only love in a lifetime, a love etched deep in the heart during the budding of youthful affection, can never be forgotten. However, the cruel reality led Chen Qi to marry far away in Hong Kong, and from then on, every day of Chen Qi’s life was no longer lived for herself. 

Chen Qi, a homemaker, had to work tirelessly teaching the guzheng and providing musical accompaniment to make a living for her three children and her idle husband. She sent her children to the best private schools, sent large sums of money to her mother still in mainland China, and saved money to buy a property in Hong Kong. However, her own life was extremely frugal. She had never eaten a whole piece of fruit and often had to combine the leftovers of her children’s meals for herself. 

Chen Qi’s artistic talents gradually emerged. Once, a friend who played the erhu asked her to provide vocal accompaniment for his erhu performance at a cultural evening. Knowing nothing about the entertainment industry in Hong Kong, Chen Qi only wore a white shirt and a black skirt to the event, only to find out that it was attended by many famous stars in elegant evening gowns. When Chen Qi took the stage and sang a song called “Searching for Love,” the applause was thunderous, and the audience demanded an encore. After performing another song, “Embroidered Purse,” the audience still wanted more. With only two songs prepared, Chen Qi had to thank the audience and leave the stage. 

Unbeknownst to her, the host that evening was Hu Zhangzhao, a well-known host of Hong Kong’s Radio Television Hong Kong (RTHK) program, “Floral King Club.” He was excited to discover Chen Qi’s talent and immediately arranged for the station’s producers to find this “homemaker who sings folk songs.” This invitation from RTHK was the start of Chen Qi’s career in Hong Kong’s entertainment industry, where she played the guzheng and sang folk songs, bringing a breath of fresh artistic air to television audiences. After her first performance, the station received countless phone calls, praising her exquisite rendition of folk songs. In addition to singing folk songs, Chen Qi also performed Huangmei opera and played the guzheng, all of which were well-received by the audience. 

Sharing the Stage with Bruce Lee, Teaching Josephine Siao Sleeve Waving 

During her time performing at the television station, Chen Qi not only shared the stage with already-famous stars like Bruce Lee but also witnessed the early success of many future celebrities. 

One day, while performing on the “Voice of Lai” program at Rediffusion Television, Chen Qi met Josephine Siao, who was a temporary actress then. Josephine Siao, later known as “Sister Josephine” and one of the most renowned Cantonese opera actresses in the Chinese-speaking world, did not know how to sing at that time and needed accompaniment from Chen Qi and others backstage. When she wore traditional costumes backstage, her water sleeves were unruly and did not cooperate. Chen Qi couldn’t help but teach her the technique: “Lower the water sleeves and use your index and middle fingers to pinch the middle of the sleeves. Then, use the other three fingers to flick the sleeves up, and they will hang neatly.” After learning this, Josephine Siao’s water sleeves flowed gracefully. She was very grateful and asked Chen Qi if she had received formal training. Chen Qi told her, “I didn’t study the arts; I studied medicine.” 

Chen Qi faced several challenges during her first few years of teaching the guzheng in Hong Kong, including a test from the renowned local musician and composer Wang Yuesheng. Wang was proficient in various instruments, including the guzheng, and had released several guzheng albums. One day, he unexpectedly visited Chen Qi and asked her to play a piece for him. Chen Qi hesitated but eventually played a piece called “Weeping for Zhou Yu.” Using a single string, she conveyed the cries and sobs of sorrow while simultaneously expressing the tears on another string. Wang Yuesheng was deeply impressed. 

Another incident involved a young guzheng teacher from Taiwan who visited Hong Kong. He played many pieces for Chen Qi to hear. This teacher was fast and skilled with his techniques. When he played “Busy at the Loom,” he advised Chen Qi on her hand positioning, comparing it to weaving. Chen Qi admired his technical skills but had a different perspective. She believed that guzheng playing should emphasize classical charm and not just speed. For instance, in the song “Busy at the Loom,” one should capture both the busyness of the weaver and the loneliness and helplessness. Each note should be rich with charm, emotion, and classical aesthetics. A few days later, this teacher from Taiwan, who was an expert, lost in a competition to one of Chen Qi’s beginner housewife students. This experience left him in awe of Chen Qi. 

Later, the President of the Chinese Music Society of Taiwan and guzheng master Liang Zaiping contacted Chen Qi. He introduced himself as a disciple of the famous guzheng master Lou Shuhua, who belonged to the Henan school of guzheng. Chen Qi was also a disciple of Lou Shuhua’s other student, Sun Zixian, making them part of the same lineage. Lou Shuhua was a representative figure in the northern Chinese guzheng art, and his composition “Fishing Boat Singing at Dusk,” created in 1938, marked a new era in guzheng music, remaining popular for decades. Chen Qi’s guzheng was actually Lou Shuhua’s, with his poems and name engraved on the back. When Liang Zaiping heard about this, he immediately sent his daughter to Hong Kong to meet Chen Qi, pay homage to the master’s guzheng, and provide Chen Qi with many of his own records. 

Chen Qi had the opportunity to meet Chen Leishi, a famous guzheng master in Malaysia, during one of her performances in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It was her first overseas performance, and it happened right after the well-known superstar Teresa Teng had finished her concert. Chen Qi was anxious, unsure if anyone would come to watch her performance. Surprisingly, the seats at the hotel’s nightclub were fully booked, with more tables being added. The hotel manager informed Chen Qi, “All of them are booked by local music groups and Chinese music enthusiasts. They are demanding that you perform the guzheng tonight.” This performance in Southeast Asia marked a turning point in Chen Qi’s career. 

Guzheng master Chen Leishi brought his two albums and a group of students to meet Chen Qi and perform the guzheng. In the presence of these guzheng masters, Chen Qi felt humbled. Despite her busy life teaching guzheng and singing to support her family, Chen Qi believed she was leading a mundane life. The lavish lifestyle filled with “bright lights and revelry” was not what she had pursued. Even at the peak of her guzheng performing career, she was contemplating retirement from the entertainment industry. 

Deng Lijun Wants to Learn Guzheng from a Master 

After Chen Qi made her appearance on television in Hong Kong, not only did more people want to learn Guzheng from her, but local and foreign hotel owners also continuously approached her to sign contracts for performances. During this period of performing at various hotels, Chen Qi not only acquired a wealth of performance knowledge and social experience but also gained a deeper understanding of interpersonal relationships and more. At the same time, she maintained her integrity, refrained from getting involved in any questionable activities, and skillfully avoided many troubling situations. Among the many experiences of performing abroad, one particularly precious memory was sharing the stage with Teresa Teng. 

One time, during a performance at a foreign hotel, Chen Qi coincidentally performed on the same stage as Teresa Teng. Teresa Teng’s mother was skilled in cooking and often prepared delicious dishes for everyone backstage, such as noodle sheets, noodles, scallion pancakes, and more. Teresa Teng had a great fondness for the Guzheng and, after watching Chen Qi’s performance, expressed a desire to learn it from her. However, at that time, Chen Qi was busy traveling for performances to earn a living and support her family. She could only say, “When you have free time, and I have free time as well, you can come and learn.” Unfortunately, that day would never come as in 1995, Teresa Teng tragically passed away due to a severe asthma attack. 

“People are doing, and heaven is watching” – one must believe this. 

During her twelve years in Hong Kong, where she worked for six or seven years, Chen Qi went from knowing nothing about Hong Kong to establishing herself in the city, supporting herself and her family, and achieving a successful career with a stable income. During this time, she received help from many people which she deeply appreciated. Chen Qi believed that she had been treated kindly by fate and was grateful for it. As a result, she urged herself to avoid doing anything wrong in life because “people are doing, and heaven is watching.” She believed that it was essential to have faith in this principle. 

Remarrying in Perth for the Sake of the Children 

Despite her growing success in Hong Kong, Chen Qi made a life-changing decision to leave the city. She heard from a pediatrician that the climate in Hong Kong was not conducive to treating her three children’s asthma and that Perth, Australia, was the best place for natural asthma treatment. Another concern was that if Hong Kong were to be reclaimed by the Chinese Communist Party in the future, the same tragic experiences she endured during her childhood might happen to her children. 

Although determined to leave Hong Kong, Chen Qi faced a significant challenge: she didn’t speak English and had difficulty adapting to her new environment. To ensure her children’s well-being, she made the difficult decision to remarry and move to Perth. Before leaving Hong Kong, Chen Qi had a heartfelt conversation with “Chun,” a longtime maid who had been like family to her. Undisclosed to their mother, Chun told Chen Qi’s children, “Your mother chose to marry in Australia for the sake of all of you. If you are not filial, divine punishment will befall upon you all.” 

Chen Qi gave up her flourishing career in Hong Kong to work as a dishwasher and open a restaurant in Perth. She sacrificed her delicate hands that had once played the Guzheng and her youthful appearance, and she endured this lifestyle for over 40 years. Fortunately, as the pediatrician had predicted, her children’s asthma never returned. Her children loved and respected their mother deeply, resulting in them being dutiful children. 

Holding Up the Sky Like Her Father Did 

After immigrating to Perth, Chen Qi not only raised her children but also used her savings and efforts to help her mother, younger brother’s family, and sister’s family immigrate to Perth as well. It seemed as if she knew that her father had entrusted her with the responsibility of supporting the family. She believed that even in the face of great hardships, her father was watching over her from the beyond. No matter how unfairly she was treated, Chen Qi had faith that heaven held a scale, weighing her actions. 

Through 70 years of trials and tribulations, joys and sorrows, Chen Qi now hopes for the right opportunity to publish her autobiography, “Journey of the Guzheng,” so that more people can experience the hardships of life through her story and gain insight into the true meaning of life amidst adversity. 

“断头将军”之女的星光与古韵

文 :安琪

1970年的一份无线电视杂志里,一位端庄清秀的少妇身着旗袍,头梳盘髻,静心弹奏古筝的彩色整幅图片引人注目,

“欢乐今宵”,这个曾经是香港电视70、80年代最受欢迎和最长寿的综艺节目,不少无线电视的一线当红演员都曾参演。当陈琪出现在“欢乐今宵”的舞台上时,很多观众甚至制作人员都在好奇地问:这个名不见经传的陈琪能弹那么好的古筝、能唱那么动听的民歌,她从哪里来?

曾是将军最珍爱的女儿

“1940年我出生在一个经济还不错的家庭。父亲是国民党军官──纵队司令少将,在抗日战争中坚决抗日,被日本人打死并割下人头,挂在城墙上示众。他成为中国有名的‘断头将军陈中柱’。死后国民党加封一级中将。那时我才一岁。”(陈琪自传《筝路历程》)

陈中柱将军,江苏盐城人,1941年抗日牺牲时年仅35岁,留下两个女儿和一个遗腹子,陈琪是次女。尽管陈琪对父亲没有任何记忆,据姐姐描述,她曾是陈将军最为珍贵的女儿。陈将军喜欢把襁褓中的陈琪抱在手中,夸她生得漂亮,给她取名为“琪”,取仙子安琪儿的意思。陈将军那时每天一下班回家,第一件事就是去陈琪的房间看她。

命运多诘难 幸有上天眷顾

父亲生前对陈琪的珍爱并没有给她的人生带来幸福。从陈琪记事起,她就像是家里多余的人,是家人的出气筒和最没用的人,因此从小形成胆小怕事的性格,甚至话都不敢多说,口齿也不清楚;再加上中共夺取政权后,陈琪家里因为国民党军官的背景,母亲被拉去坐牢,“成分不好”的她在学校和社会上也抬不起头来。生性好强的陈琪只好把所有精力都放在学习上,努力做一个好孩子,以期赢得他人的认可。尽管从小在逆境中成长,好强的个性加上天生的音乐才赋,成就了陈琪日后在艺术上的辉煌。

琴棋书画 18世纪的人生在20世纪

刻苦用心换来的好成绩得不到家人认可,因为政治原因也得不到学校的承认。陈琪却因为天生对艺术的喜爱,在那片浊世中寻得一方净土。琴棋书画都是陈琪的所爱,也样样用心去学。她的同学们常说她是18世纪的人,却错生在20世纪。

陈琪从小就喜欢音乐,被音乐老师推荐报考“中学生艺术团”,却阴错阳差地被歌咏组录取,从而启发了她的歌唱天赋,并学习了很多以后用得到的音乐知识。因为常常要参加艺术团的演出,陈琪也因此幸运地躲过了那个年代的中学生被强制“义务”修铁路或下乡种田的艰苦时光。

在中共的文革中,一切传统和文化都被踩在脚下。孙子仙,一位身怀古筝绝艺的先生,不为五斗米折腰,屈身于粮站职员,用业余时间免费教八个他喜欢的徒弟,陈琪有幸成为其中一个。陈琪特别喜欢古筝低沉、古雅的声音,学筝特别努力。陈琪还用她唯一值钱的金项链换了师爷的琴和题字,并因为日后移居香港,使得师爷的古琴得以逃脱文革厄运,并将所学在香港发扬。当后来孙先生知道这一切后,流着泪对陈琪说:“谢谢你!谢谢你!”

学业、文艺出众却没有出路

尽管学业、文艺出众,中学毕业的陈琪却因“家庭成分”问题不能被艺术院校录取,最后终于有机会候补上了当时没人去的中医学院。陈琪对中医不感兴趣,但能上大学,想着毕业后能找到工作,就已经很知足,也因此勤奋读书,成绩也是名列前茅。然而象牙塔里已不是净土一片,中共社会上的政治污浊早就玷污了中国的每个角落。尽管成绩拔尖,陈琪仍因为成分不好,在学校里备受歧视,然而真正让陈琪感到绝望的,是不久后发生的一件事。

陈琪以前学校的一位女同学来中医学院求职,人事科长约她在宿舍见面,陈琪在外面等。不一会儿女同学满脸通红、气愤得手直发抖,出来对陈琪说:“这个混蛋,要我成为他的女朋友就让我进医学院。”当时女团支书看起来和蔼可亲,陈琪就把同学遭遇的事情告诉她。

哪曾想转天党支书就来找陈琪,把她大骂一顿,说她造谣生事,破坏党和领导的威信。此后陈琪在学校的日子就更难过了。绝望的陈琪只好请医生开了张“神经衰弱”的证明,休学离开了中医学院。大学没毕业的陈琪找不到工作,只好做代课老师,内心里觉得自己太低微、太没用。

从懂事起就遭受中共的政治迫害,这给陈琪的人生刻下了永远无法抹去的伤痕。十几年后陈琪从香港艺术圈的顶峰,跌落到在珀斯餐馆洗碗的低谷,也从未叫过苦。对她而言,海外自由世界里再苦再累的工作,也苦不过在中国大陆那种在政治上抬不起头来,不知道会在哪一场政治运动中倒下的生活。

机缘引路 进入香港娱乐圈

一生中唯一的一份爱情,一段刻骨铭心的爱恋,定格在少女情窦初开的心田深处,永远都无法忘怀。然而残酷的现实让陈琪远嫁香港,陈琪的人生从此开始的每一天都不再是为自己而过。

陈琪,一个家庭妇女,为了养活三个孩子和游手好闲的丈夫,每日拚命教古筝、配乐配歌赚钱。她送孩子去最好的私立学校、给还在大陆的母亲寄大笔大笔的钱、在香港攒钱买楼,自己的生活却非常拮据,从没吃过一个整个的水果,吃饭也常常是把孩子们剩下的拨在一起,草草打发一顿。

陈琪的艺术才华却逐渐显露。一次,一位表演二胡的朋友请她帮忙在一个文艺晚会上给他的二胡表演配唱。完全不了解香港娱乐圈的陈琪只穿了一件白衬衫和一条黑裙子就去了,后来才发现那个晚会有多位歌星穿着华丽晚宴服装来表演。到陈琪上台时,唱了一首〈探情郎》,结果掌声雷动,安哥声不断,主持人请她再唱一首。一首〈绣荷包》后,观众仍要求再唱。因为只准备了两首歌,也就谢过下台。

不曾想当天的主持人是胡章钊──香港家喻户晓的无线电视“花王俱乐部”节目主持人,他发现陈琪的才能后异常兴奋,发动电视台编导寻找这位唱民歌的“家庭妇女”。陈琪因此被香港当时最出名的无线电视台邀请,上电视弹古筝、唱民歌,给电视观众们带来一股清新的艺术气息。第一次演出完,编导告诉陈琪:你唱完后电视台的电话不停,说这民歌唱得太好了,他们喜欢听。除了唱民歌,陈琪还表演黄梅戏、弹古筝,都深受观众欢迎。

和李小龙同台 教汪明荃甩水袖

陈琪在电视台演出,除了和当时已经鼎鼎大名的明星如李小龙等同台演出外,也见证了不少后来成名的明星当时青涩的成功之路。

一次在“丽的呼声”(Rediffusion)电视节目演出时,陈琪在后台遇到当时还只是临时演员的汪明荃。后来被称为“汪阿姐”的华人世界里知名度最高的越剧演员之一的汪明荃,那时还不会唱歌,要由陈琪等人在幕后仪唱。她在后台穿上古装后,水袖总是不听话,掸不上手。陈琪看到忍不住教她门道:放下水袖,在袖口的中间用大指和食指夹住,然后用其他三指把水袖弹上去,水袖就会整齐地弹在袖子上。汪明荃学会后果然水袖就挥洒自如了。她很感激,并问陈琪是科班出身吗?陈琪告诉她:“我不是学艺的,我是学医的。”

古筝古韵 得到大师们的认可

作为初出茅庐的新手,陈琪在香港教古筝的几年中也经历过不少坎坷。第一关就是本地有名的中乐演奏家、作曲家王粤生给她的考验。王会多种乐器,包括古筝,也出过几张古筝唱片。有一天他突然登门要陈琪弹一曲给他听。陈琪百般推脱未果,只好弹了一首古曲〈哭周瑜〉。见陈琪在一根弦上揉出四个音体现出哭的意境,同时在另一根弦上弹哭中的抽泣,王粤生听得心服口服。

另一次是台湾有名的一位青年古筝教师特地从台湾来港登门拜访,弹了很多曲子给陈琪听。这位教师手法又快又好又熟练。他弹到〈纺织忙〉时,告诉陈琪,弹时要注意手的姿势,像在纺织一样。陈琪赞赏其高超的技术,但有不同的观点。她认为弹古筝讲究古典韵味,不能只顾快,比如这曲〈纺织忙〉,既要弹出织女的忙,也要弹出她的孤单与无奈,每一个音都要揉得很有韵味、感情和古典意境。几天后,这位台湾来的教师在一个香港文人雅士的集会上,输给了陈琪一位初学的家庭妇女学生,由此他对陈琪佩服得五体投地。

接着,台湾的国乐大师、中华音乐会会长,也是古筝教师梁在平给陈琪打来电话,介绍他自己的师父是河南派的娄树华。陈琪也正是娄师父的另一个弟子孙子仙的徒弟,可谓是师出一脉。娄树华是中国北方古筝艺术的代表,他于1938年创作的筝曲〈渔舟唱晚〉,一经问世就开创了筝曲的新纪元,几十年来历久不衰。陈琪保存的琴正是师爷娄树华的传琴,筝后刻有他的诗和名。梁在平会长听到此事,立刻叫其女儿赴港与陈琪会面,瞻仰了师爷的传琴并送了陈琪许多他的唱片。

陈琪有一次在马来西亚吉隆坡演出时,也有幸会见了马来西亚著名的古筝大师陈蕾士。那是陈琪第一次出国登台演出,又正好赶上大明星邓丽君刚刚演完,陈琪心里忐忑不安,不知会不会有人来看她的演出。没想到酒店的夜总会座位已订满,还在不断加台。酒店经理告诉陈琪说:“全部都是本市音乐团体、国乐爱好者订的台。”他叮嘱陈琪当晚一定要表演古筝。这一次演出为陈琪在东南亚打响了名声。

古筝大师陈蕾士带着他的两张唱片和一班学生来见陈琪,也表演了古筝。面对着这些古筝老师们,陈琪忽然觉得汗颜。为了生活、为了孩子、为了赚钱每天不停地教筝和唱歌,陈琪觉得自己太俗了,现在这种“灯红酒绿尽徬徨”的生活,根本就不是她追求的“黄卷寿灯论文章”的境界。正处在古筝演出事业顶峰的陈琪却萌发了退出娱乐圈之意。

邓丽君要拜师学古筝

陈琪在电视台亮相后,不仅找她学古筝的人多了,也不断有香港本土和外国的酒店老板找她签约演出。在各种酒店演出的这段时间,陈琪学到了很多演出知识、社会知识,懂得了更多人与人之间的关系等;同时洁身自好,不贪不恋,也智慧地避免了很多麻烦。在国外演出的众多经历中,很珍贵的一件事是与邓丽君同台。

一次在外国酒店演出时,正好赶上邓丽君同台。邓丽君的母亲很能干,也很体贴,在后台经常会弄些面叶、面条、葱油饼等给大家吃。邓丽君很喜欢古筝,看了陈琪的表演后,希望能跟陈琪学。那时的陈琪忙于各地演出赚钱养家,只好说:“等你有空、我也有空时再学吧。”可这样的日子永远也等不到了。1995年邓丽君因哮喘病发作失救而香消玉殒。

“人在做,天在看” 不可不信

陈琪在香港12年,工作了六、七年,从对香港一无所知,到一个人带着三个孩子在香港立足,有了自己的事业、不错的收入,这期间得到很多人的帮助。陈琪对此心存感激,认为老天爷待她不薄。她也因此敦促自己,在人生的路上不可做一件坏事,因为“人在做,天在看”,不可不信。

为了孩子改嫁珀斯

尽管在香港事业蒸蒸日上,为了让三个有哮喘病的孩子不再发病,陈琪听到儿科医生说香港气候不好,不利于治疗,而澳大利亚的珀斯是自然治疗哮喘病的最好地方,决心离开香港。另一个让陈琪心有余悸的是,一旦将来香港回归,共产党统治了香港,她从小经历的凄惨遭遇会不会在她的子女身上又一次上演?

尽管决心离开香港,不懂英语的陈琪却寸步难行,为了孩子,最后只能选择改嫁到珀斯。在离开香港时,一直在陈琪家做佣人、陈琪待她如母的珍姐偷偷对孩子们说:“你母亲全是为了你们才选择嫁去澳大利亚的,如果你们不孝,雷会劈你们的。”

舍弃了在香港的事业,来到珀斯洗碗、开餐馆,磨破了曾经弹古筝的玉手,催老了姣好的容颜,这样的日子一过40年。所幸的是,正如儿科医生所讲,三个孩子的哮喘病再也没有发过。儿女们对母亲也爱得很深,很孝顺。

像父亲那样撑起一片天

移民到珀斯的陈琪,除了养育孩子,还耗尽心思和积蓄,将母亲、弟弟全家和姐姐移民到珀斯。冥冥中她似乎知道,父亲把挑起一家人的重担交给了她,再难也要走下去,而父亲在冥冥中也在保佑着她。陈琪无论受到多大的委屈,她相信,老天爷自有秤一把。

70年的坎坷辗转、悲欢离合,陈琪盼望着有合适的机缘出版自传《筝路历程》,让更多人能通过她的人生故事体验生活的艰辛,了悟在磨难中的心灵真谛。◇

人生中的每一個轉折點(2)我的鄉愁

我三個孩子的出生紙上,出生地是XX醫院。我的出生地是我家。我是在家裡被生下的。

我媽憑著自己是婦產科醫生,說懶得去醫院生,就叫了她醫院的一個朋友,幫她在家裡接生。等到生我弟時,她反倒膽子沒那麼大了,因為婦產科醫生做久了,見到太多的產婦難產、大出血、嬰兒臍帶繞頸等等狀況。

我媽沒有公婆,從來沒見過,又和自己的娘家不在一個城市。因此生兩個孩子時做月子,是自己的一個妹妹和兩個大姑姐過來幫忙的。

我是幸運的。

生三個孩子坐月子,都有老人家來幫忙。生老大時是我媽,生老二和老三時是我婆婆。

但我們這代人坐月子,與我媽她們那代人,沒辦法相同,而且,這又是在澳洲。

比如說,我媽說坐月子期間不能下地,否則會導致子宮下垂。可是一個月不下地走動,怎麼可能?

再有就是,即便是在坐月子期間,孩子晚上也是跟我睡的。夜裡起來餵奶、換尿布,一個多小時折騰一次,這種月子,怎麼坐呢?

我從來沒想過要把孩子夜裡丟給我媽或我婆婆,因為作為老人家,又因為是女性心思重,她們本身睡眠就不好,如果再帶著個嬰兒,就更睡不好了。

睡不好,就容易生病,如果生病,不還是得我們照顧?所以我情願自己辛苦點兒。

好在我是個能倒頭就睡之人,而且因為有過在中國看守所裡的生活經歷,哪怕是給我很窄的地方,我也能睡著。

我爸不是一個好丈夫,也不算是一個稱職的父親,但我的很多個性來源與他,尤其是那些富於冒險的個性,那些樂天派的個性,還有那些悲天憫人的個性。

這讓我想到,很多人強調的原生家庭,其實不應只看一代,而是應該多往上看幾代。而原生家庭帶給自己的不幸,隨著時間的推移,可能會慢慢發現,正是因為那些不幸,才孕育了以後的有幸。

反之亦然。

舉個例子,有的孩子成長的家庭,父母恩愛,讓他/她認為,這世間的夫妻都是這個樣,以至於到自己的婚姻時,因為感受到不恩愛,就認為是對方不好,總是拿對方跟自己的父母比,反而生出諸多怨恨之心。

人生中的每一個轉折點(1)福禍相依

他離開廣州耐克,是因為跳槽去了紐百倫,我們也因此從福州搬家回了廣東。

當初他作為被廣州耐克外派到福建的人士,待遇是很不錯的,但不是人人都願意接受這個職位,因為會牽扯到一家人的安置。那時的我剛從勞教所出來不久,一切從零開始,反倒成為我們接受這個工作的有利條件。

從耐克跳槽到紐百倫,他的月工資翻了一番,有2萬多,但是在廣州耐克辦公室剛剛交回員工卡,他就被當作間諜似的,被隔絕在一切以前的公司資源之外,讓他感到公司非常絕情。

讓他感到公司絕情的不單是這一次。

上一次是在他被抓廣州警察羈押了一段時間後回到家,那個已經被警察翻了個亂七八糟的,以及女主人被關在勞教所的出租屋之後。他在被抓前供職的一間德國膠水公司,沒有給他之前所墊支的公司有關費用3000+,給予報銷,而他那個時候一個月的工資,就是這個數。

因為他是這間公司在中國的唯一代表,他只能通過郵件與德國方聯繫,但沒人做出回應。對此我婆婆表示氣憤。數年後我們知道在這個職位上的人,是我們的一個師弟,而且月工資也從他那個時候的3000+,變成了一萬多。

人生的每一個轉折點,都是福禍相依。

相同的歸宿(5)成功學下的犧牲品

14歲的大兒今年讀八年級

這個年級學校有一個活動

說是會幫助學生學習社交

並且為上九年級做準備

大兒不願意參加那個

通過上次跟學校心理醫生的談話

我明白了她的理念就是學校的理念

而他們的理念就是成功學那一套

就如我之前所講過的

他們想把人人都培養成leader

想把人人都培養成成功人士

那誰做那些失敗人士呢

誰做那些被領導的人呢

其實就在他們如此培養的過程中

就已經製造了大量的失敗人士

8歲讀三年級的女兒說

在學校每週一次的assembly上

當站在台上的一個孩子例行說出

…Please listen to your teachers.

下面有一個認識那孩子的男孩子說

Yes, we do, Jo.

他的說話引起很多學生的大笑

女兒說

這個男孩子後來一整天都得呆在校長室

我問為什麼

她說可能是因為校長一直在強調behavior

而他的行為違反了校長所強調的behavior

她說可是他讓大家笑有什麼不好呢

大家都開開心心的不好嗎

這位校長是兩位男副校長之一

相同的歸宿(4)十四歲的婚戀觀

我想帶八歲的女兒去動物園

我問十四歲的大兒是否想一起

他說不想 如果是跟女朋友一起可以

他說跟女朋友的話可以逛一整個珀斯

我問女朋友就這麼好嗎

他說就是一個人

我問那我也是一個人 為什麼不跟我一起

他說跟你已經十四年了 舊了

我問那你以後的女朋友在一起十四年後也舊了怎麼辦

他說那就把女朋友變成妻子

我說那妻子做了十四年後舊了怎麼辦

他沒說話 我說可以把妻子變成孩子的媽

我問那孩子媽十四年後又舊了怎麼辦

他說可以讓她做第二個孩子的媽

如此類推 我說再然後讓她做祖母或是外祖母

我說這是一個非常好的strategy

我需要讓所有人都知道

他笑

(圖為大兒十一歲時)

(視頻為大兒兩歲時)

相同的歸宿(3)少年的煩惱

14歲大兒讀八年級

他們每週有半天是mentor program

可是mentoring的內容呢

都是學習正確思想正確理念正確行為

而學校組織的相關活動呢

參與率維持在50%上下

我說那教育廳可真得思考一下

以前可能活動參與率有70%、80%

可如果現在只能有50%

那說明那個舊體系已經不奏效了

但是這給了我一個idea

像我大兒這樣的人

以後可以成為一個mentor

再回到這間中學做這件事

大兒說他現在對死就很坦然

因為他活著的每一天都很滿足

我們一起探討什麼是哲學

探討哲學思想的起源

探討生命的意義

他說相信自己會找到

一個愛著自己的女人

相同的歸宿(2)離開中國學中文

我的三個孩子,從小我跟他們講中文,而且講的內容很豐,但不逼著他們學中文,也不逼著他們講中文。14歲的大兒說,他的同學同樣也是父母是中國人,但中文比他差多了,他挺自豪的。

8歲的女兒問我,她是先學的中文還是英文,我說你們都是一歲開始上每週兩天或是三天的日托所,那裡都是講英文,所以你們還是英語是母語,中文普通話是第二語言。女兒在網上看到中文或是聽到中文,她會感興趣也會來問我是什麼意思。

總體來說,我的三個孩子一直保持著對中文的喜愛。

12歲的二兒想在中學選中文做為第二外語,但是恐怕不可以,因為他不符合條件,條件是這樣的:

For the purpose of the Authority’s Application for permission to enrol in a WACE languages course process, speakers of dialects and variants of a language are considered to be speakers of the standard language:

  • China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau, Malaysia, Singapore, Brunei and Christ mas Island are considered Chinese-speaking countries/places;
  • Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Brunei, Christmas Island and Cocos Island are considered Indonesian-speaking countries/places;
  • Speakers of Indonesian and speakers of Malay are considered to be speakers of both languages;
  • All 32 Francophone countries are considered French-speaking;
  • Germany, Austria and Switzerland are considered German-speaking countries; and
  • Italy and Switzerland are considered Italian-speaking countries.

There are three criteria against which the application for enrolment will be assessed:

  • Education;
  • Residency and/or time spent in country; and
  • Use of the language for communication outside the language classroom.

二兒不服氣,說“我的中文水平很有限啊,我為什麼不能學”。我說可是你比起那些完全沒有中文背景的人,你回到家能夠講中文的這個條件,就比那些其他人多了很多。

這個對第二外語選擇的限定,我記得是在我們來西澳以後才有的。也就是說,當以前外來移民還不太多時,當地人不視我們為敵人,而當這些外來移民的人數多到會搶他們的飯碗時,他們與我們之間就存在競爭關係了。

我對二兒說,你想學中文,為什麼不在家跟我學呢。他說感覺佔用學校時間學會比較好。

但是那種對零基礎學生教授的中文課,其實是很悶的,而且也學不到什麼。